Warriors 0–10 Yardley Titans | Milton Keynes Premier Division | 23 September 2026
The Milton Keynes Premier Division received an early warning of what might be coming this season, as Yardley Titans dismantled Warriors 10–0 in a display of ruthless efficiency, questionable mercy and absolutely no interest in making friends.
The Warriors, despite possessing a name suggesting considerable combat experience, were comprehensively overrun by a Titans side featuring Adrian Piotrowski, Nick Howard and Ricky Taiwo.
The Polish Pistol takes aim
Adrian ‘Cue Ball’ Piotrowski, the vertically economical Polish assassin, wasted little time reminding everyone why he remains one of the most feared players in local table tennis.
Three singles. Three victories. No fuss.
At approximately 5ft 6in, Adrian continues to demonstrate that devastating firepower requires very little storage space.
Tricky Ricky causes problems for conventional science
Ricky ‘Tricky Ricky’ Taiwo was equally successful, returning three singles victories through a combination of determination, unconventional technique and a playing style that continues to defy classification.
Entire coaching manuals have been written explaining how table tennis should be played.
Ricky appears not to have read any of them.
It matters little. Another hat-trick was secured, and somewhere a qualified coach presumably shook their head in disbelief.
El Capitan maintains standards. Mostly.
Captain Nick ‘El Capitan’ Howard also completed his hat-trick, although Ade Odetayo had the audacity to take a game off him.
An entirely unnecessary development.
Howard recovered to secure the win, but the incident has reportedly been referred to the club’s Department of Unacceptable Generosity, an organisation consisting entirely of Howard himself.
Nick and Adrian subsequently combined in the doubles to complete the whitewash.
The Clubhouse verdict
A 10–0 away victory, three singles hat-tricks and a statement of intent from the Titans.
The opposition fought bravely, in the sense that they attended and participated.
For everyone else in the Premier Division, the message is simple:
Yardley Titans have arrived.
And apparently, they’re not particularly interested in sharing.