Yardley Titans 9–1 Milton Keynes Spinners | Milton Keynes Premier Division | 16 October 2026
There are certain traditions in Milton Keynes table tennis.
The season starts in September. Someone complains about the lighting. And sooner or later, Nick Howard and Alan Cherry find themselves on opposite sides of a table, apparently contractually obliged to make each other's lives difficult.
Friday night in Yardley Gobion was no exception.
The Titans welcomed an unbeaten Milton Keynes Spinners side, with the visitors having won all four of their opening fixtures.
Unfortunately, they arrived without Jecu Aurelian, whose illness left them a player short.
Three rubbers conceded before a ball was struck.
A significant handicap, although judging by what followed, the remaining two Spinners had every intention of making life thoroughly unpleasant.
El Capitan versus the Great Wall: Episode 23
Nick Howard and Alan Cherry have now met 23 times in the MKTTL website era.
According to El Capitan's records, no two players have faced each other more frequently.
Twenty-three meetings.
At this point, it's less a sporting rivalry and more a long-term relationship with unusually aggressive communication.
And this isn't just any rivalry.
These two have contested multiple tournament finals, including the extraordinary 2023 Premier Top 8 final, when Howard somehow survived an 18–16 fourth game before winning the decider 11–8.
Alan, affectionately known as the Great Wall of MK, had also started this season with a formidable twelve wins from twelve singles.
Enter El Capitan.
Howard took the opening two games 14–12 and 11–8, seemingly intent on completing their latest encounter without the customary three-act drama.
Alan disagreed.
The next two games went Cherry's way, 13–11 and 11–9, restoring the natural order of chaos.
Into a fifth they went.
Again.
Howard eventually prevailed 11–7, securing another chapter in one of the league's most enduring rivalries.
Twenty-three meetings down.
Presumably another twenty-three to go.
Craig Brown: the comeback nobody ordered
Craig Brown's encounter with Alan Cherry provided another five-game spectacle.
Unfortunately, Craig had apparently decided to give his opponent a substantial head start.
The opening two games disappeared 3–11 and 2–11.
At this stage, the scorecard resembled the opening stages of a police investigation.
But Brown wasn't finished.
He took the third 11–9 before producing a magnificent 17–15 victory in the fourth to force a decider.
From the wreckage of the opening two games, an extraordinary comeback had emerged.
Unfortunately, Alan remembered that he was Alan Cherry.
The Spinners captain steadied the ship, taking the fifth 11–8 to claim his side's only point of the evening.
A superb recovery from Craig, even if the final result was something of an inconvenience.
Craig had considerably better luck against Gareth Jones, recovering from losing the opening game to win 3–1.
The Polish Pistol remains unreasonably reliable
While his teammates were busy producing theatrical five-game encounters, Adrian 'Cue Ball' Piotrowski continued operating with the efficiency of a particularly ruthless accountant.
Gareth Jones was dispatched in three games, 11–4, 11–4 and 11–6.
Alan Cherry offered considerably more resistance, taking the third game, but Adrian emerged with a 3–1 victory.
Two singles played. Two singles won.
Another evening without defeat.
At this stage, Adrian's principal contribution to the Premier Division appears to be reducing the average life expectancy of an opponent's optimism.
The Polish Pistol remains fully loaded.
Gareth Jones discovers the world's most frustrating 3–0 defeat
Spare a thought for Gareth Jones.
Against Howard, he produced three incredibly competitive games.
The scores?
12–10. 12–10. 17–15.
All to Nick.
Three games decided by a combined margin of just six points.
Six.
An extraordinary amount of effort for absolutely nothing in the results column.
Howard will naturally describe this as evidence of his ability to perform under pressure.
Everyone else may reasonably describe it as daylight robbery.
Doubles trouble, but not for long
Nick and Adrian joined forces against Alan and Gareth in the doubles, where the first game required a 17–15 finish.
Because apparently nobody had anything better to do that evening.
The Titans edged the second 12–10, surrendered the third 10–12, then finally remembered they were supposed to be the favourites and took the fourth 11–3.
Another doubles victory secured.
Another opportunity for El Capitan to congratulate himself on his inspired team selection.
The Clubhouse verdict
Yardley Titans 9. Milton Keynes Spinners 1.
On paper, another comprehensive victory.
In reality, a fascinating evening featuring two five-game singles battles, a remarkably competitive straight-games contest and a doubles encounter that briefly threatened to require its own scheduling committee.
The scoreline also deserves some perspective.
Three of the Titans' nine points came through Jecu's unfortunate absence. Of the seven rubbers actually contested, the home side won six.
Spinners were far from disgraced.
Alan Cherry ended the evening with another victory over Craig Brown and another instalment of his seemingly eternal rivalry with Nick Howard.
Craig demonstrated impressive resilience.
Adrian remained Adrian.
And El Capitan once again found a way to emerge victorious from a match that, by all reasonable standards, should have been considerably less stressful.
The Titans now have four league victories from four, with 37 rubbers won and just three conceded.
The title ambitions remain firmly intact.
But perhaps the evening's biggest revelation is that Nick Howard and Alan Cherry have now played each other 23 times.
At some point, somebody really ought to introduce them.