There are 10–0 victories that feel like 10–0 victories. And then there are evenings when the scorecard looks utterly convincing right up until somebody starts telling you what actually happened.
Yardley Titans visited Milton Keynes Sasaki on Tuesday night and returned with all ten rubbers. Adrian Piotrowski and Ricky Taiwo each completed a singles hat-trick. Craig Brown did too, although the final entry on his delivery sheet required a longer explanation.
Sasaki had Michael Wilkins, a man who has been around the league long enough to know precisely which angles make life miserable; Minesh Pitamber, who seems to spend most waking hours either playing, training or reading about table tennis; and Mervyn Phillips, a defender who has earned his place at this level rather than simply inherited it.
A clean sweep, yes. An easy night? Not quite.
The Postman takes the scenic route
For the first two games against Minesh Pitamber, Craig “The Postman” Brown appeared to have delivered his racket to the wrong address.
Minesh was playing the sort of two-winged attacking table tennis that comes from being thoroughly obsessed with the sport. Spin, purpose, pressure. He took the first two games 11–9, 11–9, and the Titans’ unbeaten scoreline suddenly had a very real problem.
Craig has a habit of making these things difficult for himself. Against Greenleys Glory in October, he came back from two games down twice in one night. Evidently, the straightforward delivery route remains closed for maintenance.
The third game tightened to 10–10. Craig edged it 12–10, and with that the momentum of the match changed. The fourth went his way 11–7. The deciding fifth finished 11–5.
From two games down to a 3–2 win.
That is a tremendous recovery by Craig, but also a reminder of the quality Minesh is developing. He works at his game, attacks on both wings, and very nearly took a memorable scalp.
If he is not at the table, there is a reasonable chance he will be found studying it. And if he is reading this on The Clubhouse, he may wish to skip directly to the next section.
The Postman apologises for the delay. Your parcel has finally been delivered.
Michael Wilkins and the geometry department
Michael Wilkins is not the sort of opponent who believes the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
Tall, clever, and armed with pimples on the forehand, he prefers to make the other player consider parts of the table they had not previously noticed. The angles come first. The confusion tends to follow.
He gave Adrian a properly awkward opening game, losing it only 14–12, before the Polish Pistol closed the match out in three. Against Craig, Michael made the third game competitive too, but the Postman won 3–0.
Ricky Taiwo found himself involved in another extended opener, eventually taking it 13–11, then finishing the match in straight games.
Michael also has a particular enthusiasm for the scoring chair. Not necessarily because he is fascinated by umpiring protocol, you understand. It is simply a fine opportunity to investigate whether the tea-making facilities remain operational.
Some people look for a tactical advantage. Michael looks for an angle. And possibly a kettle.
Mervyn Phillips: no invitation required
Mervyn Phillips did not arrive in the Premier Division through the back door.
He worked his way up from Division One as an adult, developing the sort of game that makes opposition attackers earn every point. Pimples on the backhand, stubborn defence, and enough attacking ability to punish anyone who gets careless.
He is also, by all accounts, one of the nicest people you could hope to meet in the league. Unfortunately for the Titans, that friendliness does not extend to handing over easy games.
Mervyn took the opening game against Craig 11–9, pushed the third to 14–12, and ultimately lost in four. Against Ricky, the third also went beyond ten-all before Ricky edged it 13–11.
Then came Adrian. Mervyn took the opening game 11–7 and went agonisingly close in the third, which Adrian won 13–11, before the Titans talisman finished the match in four.
No rubber on the board for Mervyn, but plenty of evidence that he belongs at this level on merit. There is something rather satisfying about a player who has worked his way up the divisions and now makes the Premier regulars do some honest work.
The Polish Pistol and Tricky Ricky keep the paperwork tidy
Adrian “The Polish Pistol” Piotrowski had the sort of night that does not invite an elaborate explanation. He beat Michael and Minesh in straight games, recovered after dropping the first game to Mervyn, and collected another three singles wins.
Ricky “Tricky Ricky” Taiwo was equally efficient: three singles, three wins, not a game conceded. He took care of Minesh, Mervyn and Michael without allowing the scorecard to become especially complicated.
The two then teamed up to win the doubles against Michael and Mervyn 11–9, 11–7, 11–5.
Adrian and Ricky: six singles victories and a doubles point between them. While Craig was out exploring the entire five-game format, the other two had apparently located the express service.
The Clubhouse verdict
Milton Keynes Sasaki 0. Yardley Titans 10.
The Titans took every rubber, and the scoreline will look excellent in the league table. But it would be doing Sasaki a disservice to leave the story there.
Michael made his opponents think with his angles and awkward forehand; Mervyn kept testing the Titans with a game he has built through years of improvement; and Minesh came within a single tight game of spoiling the clean sweep entirely.
For the Titans, Adrian was dependable, Ricky was relentless, and Craig supplied the evening’s principal drama by recovering from two games down.
Ten–nil on paper. A five-game escape, several deuce games, a pair of troublesome pimple bats and three opponents with rather more about them than the result suggests.
The Postman got there eventually. And, if Michael had anything to do with it, the kettle probably got there first.