OU Primes 0–10 Yardley Titans | Milton Keynes Premier Division | 8 October 2026
Following the previous week’s uncomfortable encounter with Ian Musk, Yardley Titans arrived at OU Primes with a point to prove.
Actually, ten points.
And they took every single one of them.
In an evening of extraordinary efficiency, Ricky Taiwo, Adrian Piotrowski and Nick Howard completed a comprehensive 10–0 demolition, surrendering just two individual games across the entire match.
For OU Primes, the arithmetic was straightforward.
Ten rubbers available. Zero rubbers won.
Not the sort of equation anybody enjoys solving.
Tricky Ricky: a continuing mystery
Ricky ‘Tricky Ricky’ Taiwo once again demonstrated why attempting to understand his technique is generally less productive than simply watching him win.
The self-taught maestro collected another three singles victories against Patrick Wong, Andy Tan and Nicolas Wong.
Andy offered some resistance, forcing Ricky to 12–10 in the opening game, while Nicolas managed to take a game from him.
Neither could prevent the inevitable.
Ricky’s distinctive style continues to confound opponents, spectators and, quite possibly, Ricky himself.
The man plays table tennis according to a set of principles known only to him.
He also sweats.
A lot.
The Clubhouse understands that environmental scientists have begun taking an interest, although no formal investigation has yet been announced.
Cue Ball returns to business as usual
Adrian Piotrowski, seemingly irritated at having been required to play five games against Ian Musk the previous week, reverted to his preferred approach.
Straight games. Every opponent. No negotiations.
Patrick Wong, Andy Tan and Nicolas Wong were dispatched with the minimum of fuss.
Nicolas briefly threatened to make things interesting in the third game of their encounter, but Adrian closed it out 14–12.
The Polish Pistol was back in full working order.
Service history: immaculate.
El Capitan overcomes an early administrative error
Nick Howard also recorded three singles victories, although Andy Tan briefly disrupted proceedings by winning the opening game 11–7.
Nick responded by winning the next three, presumably after remembering that the team had travelled specifically to win table tennis matches.
His victories over Patrick and Nicolas were more straightforward, with both dispatched in straight games.
Nick and Adrian then combined in the doubles, winning 11–4, 11–2 and 11–8.
There would be no repeat of the previous week’s five-game complications.
The Clubhouse verdict
Ten victories. Just two games conceded. Three unbeaten singles players.
The Titans’ response to their previous reality check was emphatic.
OU Primes may wish to revisit their calculations, but the final answer is unlikely to change.
As for the Titans, normal service has apparently resumed.
The Clubhouse Clean Sheet Watch: another 10–0 secured.
Somewhere, Ian Musk remains the only man to have discovered the secret to making this lot look human.